New rules

Rules Restaurant (Covent Garden)

RESTAURANT • First Person

What makes a tourist trap? Is it the location? A dubious claim to fame? The décor, or being featured in a film? By any of these benchmarks, Rules qualifies. It’s in Covent Garden, claims to be the oldest restaurant in London, is featured in a Bond film and played host to Dickens. Even Kingsley Amis famously hated it.

But two weeks before Christmas, I needed to seat six people in Covent Garden for a pre-theatre lunch. We’ve all dined at The Ivy, Balthazar and Din Tai Fung a million times. Let’s try something new! Or old, rather.

When we arrive at Rules, the host leads us upstairs to the Winter Garden bar. There, we find paisley-red velvet couches, rattan chairs and lovely live plants.

I partly booked the table because I thought Rules would be pure British Christmas camp. The cocktail menu delivers, with drinks like the Duchess of Cambridge and Lipsticks at Dawn. I ordered the seasonal Aunt Nellie’s Tipple, a blend of Christmas gin, ginger wine and brandy. When the cranberry-coloured drink arrives in a frosted V-shaped glass, it’s elegant and well-balanced, camp only in name.

Our table is ready. We stumble down the stairs (Aunt Nellie is made of strong stuff) and slide into the banquette seating. A true-to-size oil portrait in a gilded frame hangs above our heads, and the red carpet is at our feet.

The seasonal grouse tempts our table – Rules is a game restaurant – but we all go in on the pies. I have the steak and kidney, while others order the chicken, leek and mushroom. One has sirloin steak, and we share starters and sides. Of course, we have potatoes two ways, mashed and Dauphinoise. The smoked eel starter was a bright and tangy balance to the savoury pies, but the surprise favourite of the meal was the creamed Savoy cabbage with bacon.

This is no Rainforest Cafe for upper-crust English culture – the food is excellent; homey, but refined. Our server was professional and prompt, but didn’t rush us. These are the classics, done well.

I once had an art professor tell me that if you’re going to look at Picasso’s Les Meninas, you also need to see Velázquez. I advise similarly: dine at St. John, but try Rules first. –AC Kienbaum

→ Rules Restaurant (Covent Garden) • 35 Maiden Ln • Tue-Thu 12-10p, Fri-Sat 12-1130p, Sun 12-10p • Book.